It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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