Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
