um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
