I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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