I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just invented taco cereal.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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