you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Send help, water and tortillas.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
