She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
