Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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