In the future we'll all be gay
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
