how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
