pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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