didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
