Your mouth is God's brothel.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize