Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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