I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
