Only a mothe r could love this liver
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
