if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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