I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
