I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
