I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
