I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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