Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
