My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
