Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
