:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
