I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize