where am i from again
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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