census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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