Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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