His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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