i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
