i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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