so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
