last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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