sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize