Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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