An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
