before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize