I CAN MOONWALK!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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