I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
