He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize