do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
