come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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