it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
