I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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