This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My feet surprised me
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
