Midget sex pt 2 tonight
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
