Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
cat food counts as protein by the way
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
