We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
