Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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