it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
only you would photoshop your dick
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
