holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
