Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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