Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
