im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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