He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
