She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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