grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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